"stuff day"

Hi,

Let me add me thanks for your friendship and support for my lady "di". We went to her favorite spot the Rave and watched movies last night. Diane is so encouraged by your wonderful expressions of love. Truely Diane is blessed by you. I love you guys. Thank you for loving Diane.

stuff day!

There is a tradition at Christ Hospital known as "stuff day".  You may know it as "carry in dinner" or something like that.  It's where everyone brings in their favorite food and everyone "stuffs" their face all day.  Usually this happens in connection with a celebration of some kind.  A new baby, new employee, old employee moving on, some worthy accomplishment. 

Yesterday my work colleagues had a "stuff day" for me.  They wanted to support me in my fight against this poison called cancer that has decided to give me the fight of my life.  They are joining me in my fight, lifting me up, praying for me, holding my hands up like Aaron did for Moses when the battle was raging and depended on Moses' hands being held high to win the battle. Now that might seem a bit dramatic but to me, that's what it is.

I am deeply humbled by the love shown me yesterday by my colleagues.  Thank you so much Christ Hospital Cath Lab / Angio / CVRU and ANYONE else who took part.  I don't know who everyone is, but you know who you are.  Both near and far.  There are no words that can express my love and gratitude to you.

I am holding out for a miracle here.  So when that happens we will party all over again.  My prayer is that God will richly bless all of you.

Love, diane

Today's Events

Diane,

I am so proud to be your husband. Today we received words of life from Dr. John Sacco. The lifestyle of eating, suppliments and exercise gives us power to overcome cancer and chemo. Today is the first day I have sensed that there is something we can do to make life better and longer. Tonite at Last Wednesday at CR. I committed your spirit, life and my control into God's Hands. God has and will always be in charge and trusted. Our life together is a testimony of that fact. I thank God for you everyday. I love you so much. I trust God to help me to be a competent and committed caregiver. TEAM ORNER will defeat Team Cancer.

today was good and not so good

I realized something today.  This fatigue is too much for me.  I try to go to work but I am so tired.  The slightest task wears me out and I have to wait until it passes.  Things that I took for granted just wear me out.  I want to work.  I need to work.  But I am so worn out.

The good part is I had a bone scan and head CT today.  You will be pleased to know that they did find a brain. It is now documented.  But there is nothing there,  No visible sign of cancer.  That's a relief.

Then there was the bone scan.  I now have a diagnosis of arthritis.  Shoulders, knees and feet.  I have some regenerative changes in my lower back.  Ok, I'm getting old,  And I hope to get ALOT older!  Actual result of bone scan - no evidence of cancer.  There was one speck that the doc did not think was cancer because when compared to the CT of that area there was not a corresponding spot.  He said would tell me if he saw anything.

I should be thrilled right?  I just cannot get away from the "speck"!  Negatives have always been easier for me to believe.

I really am not feeling encouraged today. Fear has overwhelmed me yet again.  I know there is a multitude of folks praying for me..  My arms are sagging and need held up.

So you see, today was good and bad for me.  Good test results and depression all in one day.  Talk about an oxymoron!

love to hear from you

When I set up this blog I wanted everyone to be able to see/comment even if you do not have google account.  Although the google account is free I know not everyone wants one.  So, If you do comment or follow would you mind identifying yourself?  I need and love the encouragement.  Sometimes just initials or first names aren't enough for me to tell who you are.  And for sure David, Michelle, and Dustin will want to know who you are too.  I have so many many many friends and followers LOL.  Well you know what I mean!  If you would like to not reveal  yourself publicly you could send a message to us.......thanks, love you all.

david, michelle and dustin

I have added David, Michelle and Dustin as authors so they can post too.  They are going through this right along with me.....I love them all beyond words.

don't worry

Before you think I am going to bore you with every ache and pain, don't worry, I won't.  But, there's always a but isn't there, today I feel like crap. Aches and pains.  Tired.  Depressed.  This just cannot be happening to me!  My mom's grandma lived to be 97.  That was my plan.  I picture this "poison" scattered all over inside me.  I just can't believe it.  I don't need sermons tho', just understanding.  I know this is temporary.  I remember the oncologist saying this will shorten my life.  I really don't like that.  I am depending on y'all to carry me....not doing that so good today.........

I told you this might be too much for you!