it is now october....

I saw the movie 50/50 twice. It's a movie about a young man,27, diagnosed with a rare, invasive spinal tumor. the name was very long and even though I am a nurse it's too much for me! Anyway, 50/50 is a "dark" comedy, not one of those sugary, sappy cancer movies. I really identified with the emotions and reactions of Adam. The initial diagnosis, disbelief, shaving the head when the hair started to fall out. Not wanting to, not wanting to believe it but the hair was coming out in handfuls. Didn't want to walk around with bald spots. The screaming all by myself really loud. Wishing everyone would stop telling me I would be ok. No one knows that. Maybe God will heal me. Can He? Absolutely! Will He? I don't know. Am I doing well right now? Yes for sure. But I have to be honest with myself. To do otherwise will serve no useful purpose. Even though I get really tired I am going to watch my grandsons Nick and Blake play their football games, watch Haley cheer her heart out every time I can. Blake has decided to take up wrestling. So, I'll be doing that too. I am gonna be with my children as much as they can stand me. I'm going to dance at Dustin's wedding, enjoy our new daughter Jess. The only place I wanted to see is Hawaii. This has been made possible through a generous gift from some awesome people. Thanks so much. You know who you are. We will have personal tour guides also known as friends that "snowbird" in Honolulu. Now that's the life. During chemo I did not miss any Fresh Winds engagements and don't intend to miss any in the future. You might need to prop me up, but I will be there. Sounds like Michael Jackson, oh my. BTW, If you are easily offended, don't go see the movie.............love to all.