I'm not really much of a blogger. I notice it has been 2 months since my last update. I have more of a "negative" slant to me, I know "shocker", and I don't want to fill this with downer stuff. Another thing I need to work on! "Shocker" again!
We have been in a waiting game since my last chemo. We began chemo in Nov because my tumor markers were rising and the CT scan showed the lymph node was growing. I was unable to tolerate the complete number of treatments of both Gemzar and Taxotere. They were too toxic. The positive things they accomplished was the markers lowered a bit and stabilized and the tumor essentially stopped growing. We were hoping for everything to decrease.
I was too weak to continue chemo after the above. The doc wants me to wait as long as I could before starting another drug. Evidently, the longer you wait between drugs the better you are survival wise. And that's where we are.
I still am unable to tolerate much activity. I tired easily. I moved David's golf bag and even that made me out of breath. My stamina is still low.
I must admit that while everyone is ecstatic about the current state of tumor and markers being stable I want to just get it over with so I can move on.
We did another CT yesterday, and markers Tues. Markers are down 2 points and CT is unchanged.
I am trying to accept that at least I have more time not actually having chemo. Believe me, chemo is HELL. And I do not say that lightly.
Not only the physical part of it. The mental part of it. And some folks treat you differently. People are uncomfortable seeing me bald. They keep things from me thinking it is too much for me. Stay away so as not to stress me out or make me feel bad.
I get it. They don't know what to say. They don't want to cause me pain or discomfort. But if they only knew how lonely that makes me feel. Out of the loop. And I get energy from people. Others are not like that but if you really know me then you know that.
The doc told me early on, when we found the metastasis, to live my life. I need all of you to that!
I hate missing stuff!!!!
love, diane
gIRL WELL LIVE YOUR BUTT ON OVER TO MY HOUSE SO i CAN MAKE YOU A GOOD OLE DOWN SOUTH sOUL fOOD DINNER THEY SAY THATS COMFORT FOOD SO i WILL FILL YOUR BELLY WITH FOOD AND LAUGHTER ...lOVE YOU AND KEEP ON living!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling. It makes them wonder what you're up to. Love and prayers for you. Donald Craig
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to our Drs. and the medicines that help you Diane. I am so proud of your efforts to fight this terrible disease. I truly HATE Cancer. I believe that you have the best Doctors and the best people who have been praying for you these almost 3 years now. I believe that God is HEALING you. All praise and glory to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Our prayers are being answered. Since Pastor Sterling Hawks anointed you and prayed over you, your health has been on a steady incline. I for one believe Our God is giving you good health. I am so thankful and humbled at God's presence and touch upon your live. God loves you and so do I.
ReplyDeleteI understand that people treat you different as they do me also but for different reasons. Don't let what they do affect you in a negative mood. What you are going through is proof positive that you are the strongest and embrace your baldness as God is making you better. You have no reason to be anything but beautiful and if they were walking in your shoes, they wouldn't be the strong women you are. I would let them deal with it. I watch everyday and question if there is more I could be doing for you and Jean. I wish you didn't live so far away so our whole family could walk this journey beside you. Hold your head up high cause you have more people than you think loving you that don't treat you differently. The others don't deserve to be in your company. Keep on plugging. Love you, your little sis.
ReplyDeleteHello Diane,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you...I would love to hang out and catch up on life. Please give me a call or text at (513) 207-9118 and let me know when I can bring you something. Hope you have a great time at Captival Island. It is so beautiful there!!! Shelley
BTW, I think those people who are uncomfortable with your hair loss are actually just jealous that you don't have to spend so much time doing your hair everyday! :) God's word says that laughter is good medicine!!!
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