I realized something today. This fatigue is too much for me. I try to go to work but I am so tired. The slightest task wears me out and I have to wait until it passes. Things that I took for granted just wear me out. I want to work. I need to work. But I am so worn out.
The good part is I had a bone scan and head CT today. You will be pleased to know that they did find a brain. It is now documented. But there is nothing there, No visible sign of cancer. That's a relief.
Then there was the bone scan. I now have a diagnosis of arthritis. Shoulders, knees and feet. I have some regenerative changes in my lower back. Ok, I'm getting old, And I hope to get ALOT older! Actual result of bone scan - no evidence of cancer. There was one speck that the doc did not think was cancer because when compared to the CT of that area there was not a corresponding spot. He said would tell me if he saw anything.
I should be thrilled right? I just cannot get away from the "speck"! Negatives have always been easier for me to believe.
I really am not feeling encouraged today. Fear has overwhelmed me yet again. I know there is a multitude of folks praying for me.. My arms are sagging and need held up.
So you see, today was good and bad for me. Good test results and depression all in one day. Talk about an oxymoron!
Diane, I am praying for you to have a good rest tonight. Don't try to figure it all out right now. We are all praying and lifting up your arms! Sleep well my friend. God has it all in his hands and he is able to do more than you can ask or imagine.
ReplyDeleteEveryday you will experience a multitude of emotions its natural just know we are rooting for you we love you and that speck was just that a SPECK!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Diane. I know the overwhelming anxiety of something being in your body and you want it gone. Losing control is not something we are used to That alone is depressing. It is depressing when you don't feel good and must make yourself get out of bed and put on a happy face is in itself exhausting. I wish you didn't have to do this but just know I love you and wishing it will all go away. Lori
ReplyDeleteDiane I am glad to hear that the ct was good and now you have what your other sister has arthritis and good ole back problems,as if you need that to add to your list.
ReplyDeleteBut I am so relieved to hear that the cancer has not spread to any other vital organs.The Lord has answered prayer yet again.
I am so sorry that you feel so tired it pains me to even think this.I know that you have to work and that you need to if only for other company of people. I wish,hope and pray that this all goes away .... Love you always...Donna
Diane...I am lifting up my prayers for you. I think of you everyday and you just amaze me how you keep your humor going, which I have always loved about you. I think you are a super person for creating this blog for other people to read. What an inspiration you are. I have two more friends that are going through different types of cancer and I print out all your stuff so that they can relate to someone else that is going through this too. Keep up your spirits and the dear Lord will see you through this...He knows how special you are.
ReplyDeleteHope you have many more good news days...Mary A. (TCH)
I posted this to you the other day but I love it SO much I wanted to post again!!!! You are a go getter, hard to keep down, rest when you need to, laugh and cry when you need to BUT you are right, there are MANY holding up those arms of yours in prayer as well as David's and the kids!!!!! Praying for all of you and inspired by your strength and continued glory to the Lord!!!! "And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses' hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle."
ReplyDeletePerhaps the fatigue is God's way of telling you to sit back and relax in His gentle arms? I know you want to work - for nothing more than just to keep your mind busy. However, you don't need to be exposed to viruses and other "health hazards" while your body is undergoing chemo. Take it easy (I know .. easier said than done!) and let others wait on you for a change. Praying for more good days than bad; more trust than doubt, and more comfort than struggle.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you! Praying for you! Expecting God to shower you with HIS peace and rest today and forever. One day at a time. Keep the Faith, trust God, and Stay Strong! James 1:12 and Phillipians 4:13.
Love You!
Diane, My Bible study and I are praying for you as you go through this trial. You are amazing and God is everything you need. glad you let your humanity show and are real. That way I know how to pray- strength and peace. love, Lu Lane
ReplyDeleteDiane,
ReplyDeleteI can hear you now!
Work can be a comfort-therapy-and it feels normal...
Wish I could be with you now - doing nothing together...that would be a great...
Perhaps sometime soon,
LOVE
Sandy
Diane, Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with the truth.So keep playing your instrument and our candle of hope will never burn out.
ReplyDeleteAlways love you,
Ginger
Praying for you Diane! For rest when you need it - physically and mentally, for strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteLove, Laura Davies